I see the light
by perezxo
Summary: Realizing you are wrong takes alot, especially for Buttercup.
1. Happy Birthday Butch

I roll out of bed, literally thanks to Blossom pounding on my door. I check the alarm, June 1st, 2:57 pm. It's _his _birthday. I quickly put on some clothes, and clean up my room before letting Blossom in, she'd kill me if she saw this mess.''BUTTERCUP UTONIUM'' she shouts. I rush torwards the door, and unlock it to an angry Blossom. ''Buttercup, I fucking called you 3 hours ago to wake up, we need things to do today and I dont all day because you know Brick invited me to Butch's birthday dinner. ''You should fucking know by now that alarms or phone calls don't wake me up Blossom. Its as if you didnt live with me for 16 years.'' She rolled her eyes ''Whatever, get ready and wear something nice. We're going shopping, and then lunch with dad. I really dont want you to be looking like a whore today.'' ''Define, ''nice'' Bloss.'' I roll my eyes, and kick her out of my room while she rambles on about me being a smart ass. Whatever, I guess I'll dress nice for dad. I walk into my closet and sigh. What the _hell_ can I fucking wear to look decent on this hot ass day?''

*3:40 pm*

I walk up to Bubbles car wearing shorts, white sandals and a knit top. Bubs is wearing a floral dress, and Blossom is wearing leggings and a striped tank. I go into the drivers seat, slide on my sun glases and turn around. ''Are you guys going to get in the damn car, or what?'' I asked. My sisters looked at each other and stepped in the car. I made Bubbles sit next to me because Blossom is such a fucking control freak I cant even deal anymore. I'm really hungry, ''can we eat lunch first? I'm starved''. Blossom rolls her eyes, ''fine Bc whatever you want.'' I pull into Chillis, and they seat us immediately. I sit next to Bubbles, and Blossom starts ''So Brick wants to have a suprise party ready for Butch for when we get back fro-'' ''He isn't going to like that, just saying. Just skip dinner, and take him to the party.'' I say. They both look at me as if Butch and I werent bestfriends for years, and I didnt know him better than he knew himself. ''You do realize he was my bestfriend before right. I mean I remember his damn birthday every fucking year for god sake.'' Bubbles goes to speak, but Blossom interrupts. ''We know, and we let him know every year Bc. It's not like he doesnt know who you are, okay. You arent the only victim in the situation. And you know what else? Its time to fucking move on, and let Butch be happy like hes moved on from this whole problem. Just accept the fact that the two of you will never get along again, and its all your fault alright?'' I swallow hard, and blink my eyes so the tears wont fall. I dont want to be fucking over it, he was my bestfriend. As much as I love my sistsers, they're each others bestfriends, Butch was mine. Without him I feel so lonely sometimes, cant they every fucking open their eyes and notice I will never forget or move on. They are so ignorant, and it sucks that they will never understand how I feel.''You're right'' I say while I get up from the table and start to walk away. ''What are you doing Buttercup?'' Bubbles asks. ''This Bubbles, is finally moving on. I need some time for myself, tell dad I'll call him later okay?'' I leave and head torwards Arianna's house, my roommate freshman year. She left because she got caught smoking in school. She still goes to school, she just cant live there anymore. I knock on her door, and she opens quickly. ''Bc, whats wrong?'' she asks. I shake my head, ''nothing trust me''. ''I lived with you for almost 2 years, I know you. I bet this is about Butch. It's been 3 years, and although I think its unhealthy for you two to have let go of such a good friendship, sweetie I think its time to move on. You know I love you, but theres nothing we can do to change his mind. I dont know why, but you know him better than anyone else. Once Butch makes up his mind, theres no way in hell he's going to change it. I wish I could help, but this his whole problem has been going on too long, and I would really like for you to stop moping around, and fucking smoking so much pot! Its ridiculous. I know it reminds you of the old days but cut the shit, you've always been one of my closests friends, but its like I dont even fucking know you anymore. I'm sorry to say this, but grow up Bc. You're turning 17 in two months.'' I let it all sink in, and the tears pour out my eyes hot, stinging all the way down. Arianna is the _only_ person besides Butch that I can cry infront of. My pride just doesnt get in the way with them 2. I've always felt so happy, and myself with both of them. I wish everything would just rewind, and I could re live all of those amazing memories with Butch, Arianna and my other friends. ''I cant fucking move on. I dont understand why you, my sisters and everyone else seem to think its so fucking easy to let go of the only person who understands everything about me so easily. To let go of all the memories that are attached to _him._ Everything I ever do reminds me of _him._ Do you not realize its like losing a limb? Nothing will ever be close to replacing it ever again. As hard as you all try to make me happy, it will never work. YOU all need to grow up and see the bigger picture. There is no Buttercup Utonium without Butch Jojo, okay? You have your bestfriend, my sisters have each other. I. cannot. function. without. Butch. I really wish I could but I cant okay!'' She holds me while I cry. ''If you miss him so much, why the hell are you moping. Do something about it. I am sick and tired of you coming to my apartment when you and your sisters get into a fight about him and then hearing you complain. I want you to take a look at this okay?'' She leaves the room, and comes back with a big black book. She hands it to me, and the cover is blank. I open the book, and I see a letter. I instantly notice the handwriting as my own and begin to read.

_Dear future me, what the fuck is up you babe? I hope everything I planned is going well. Butch and Arianna are knocked the fucked out right now. They are such light weights. Anyways, freshman year has been a year to definitely remember. I wish I could start again, not that I would change anything ofcourse. I'm writing the first of my letters that I'm going to start every 4 months. Basically its just to remind you of all the events from this year. Its only december and its cold as shit balls, but Im excited for Christmas and new years! Thank god dad is going to his mothers house, so me Butch and Arianna can get fucked up. This is fucking awesome. I'm also going to keep a picture of every single memory I will make along my journey of boarding school. Bye Buttercup, see you soon babes._

I laugh as I finish the letter. I flip the page, and look at the pictures that went along with the letter. Its one of me and Butch drunk as shit, with Arianna passed out. A few others of us with Boomer, Brick and my sisters. I flip through the pages, until I stop at the last page. It's the last letter I wrote.

_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey bc. So Mikey is calling me, and knocking on my door but I cant fucking open cause I have Butch on my bed sleeping. Lately, we barely hang out cause Mikey doesnt like me and Butch hanging out so much. I'd never tell him this, but I dontgive a shit what he wants. Butch is my bestfriend, but anyway we have to secretly hang out unfortunately.''I know you are awake, open the door'' he shouts. I cant open now, and I refuse to wake up Butch. He probably has a hangover and I wont be able to keep him quiet enough to sneak him out. Holy shit, I dont know what to do. Butch is stiring, this isnt good. FUCK MAN. I hate having to chose between them two. Butch is my bestfriend and I love him so much, but I am inlove with Mikey. He was my first, and only and I cant leave him. He means way too much to me, and I cant chose. My life is so fucked. Bloss and Bubbles keep telling me to dump Mikey cause they think hes a douche, but I dont think so. Hes everything I EVER wanted in a boyfriend. Yet again, he is controlling and we fight almost everyday. Not that I would tell anyone though. I'm sure Arianna knows though, she fucking despises Mikey. Ever since Mikey told her to fucking leave me alone because he thinks she was in my business she doesnt even look at him. I see Arianna get up, cover Butch up and walk to the door. ''Mikey get a fucking life! I am sleeping and so is Bc, leave us a fucking lone!'' and she slams the door. What the fuck is going on? Help please.._

There are a few pictures of me Butch and Arianna. Then I look at the last picture, its the last picture of me and Butch _ever._ I start to cry, and Arianna says ''Oh no, not the water works again. Remember how happy we all used to be? I still talk to him every now and then, and he misses you too. But you fucked up really bad Bc, I understand his pain.'' I pick up my hair, and wipe my tears. ''Well its time for me to go, I have to go buy something.'' I say. ''Again? You do the same thing every year. I know he appreciates it Bc, but dont get crazy okay?''

Blossom

''I have no idea whats gotten into her, and now ever since the problem, shes a mess. We really need to talk to him, and make him talk to her. You know her and her pride, she'd never talk to him. Its fucking ridiculous.'' I said to Bubbles. ''Yeah but did you forget Butch is Buttercups twin, neither of them will make the first move. Lets be realistic, its just not going to happen. He misses her as much as she misses him I mean have you see his laptop? It still has all of their pictures and things on there. Why the hell did you tell her he's moved on? Shes going to do something stupid, as if we need that now. You know our sister, and her compulsive ways and then somehow Butch is going to find out and they will NEVER talk again.'' I sigh, everything used to be so perfect. We would all do everything together, and now I feel as if I have divorced parents splitting my time between the two. Its all Buttercups fault, she realy needs to get her shit together..


	2. Hell is a place called home

In my pocket I hear my phone vibrate and pick up, its Brick. ''Brick who died?'' ''Haha Blossom, no one. It's Butch hes refusing to leave the room AGAIN. Have you talked to your sister? This crap is getting ridiculous and I cant take emotional Butch for the rest of my life. 2 years has been enough.''

I roll my eyes, he's completely right. I cant deal with Buttercup being rebe-, well shes always been rebelious but now its on a whole nother level.

''Youre right. We need to something, and fast. I cant with Bc anymore, shes getting worse everyday Brick. Talk to her please?''

''You know Butch would kill me if he caught me talking to her, but Im doing this for the both of them. Theyre both going insane and none of us can control them anymore. When should I talk to Buttercup?''

I hear his sigh at the end of the sentence. This whole ''break up'' you could call it, has really taken a toll on all of us . Boomer and Bubbles fight all the time, Me and Brick are doing worse and worse in school dealing with them two and THEY barely go to any of their classes anymore, always locked up in their rooms, or Bc partying.

Its fucking annoying, and stressful. Another problem is keeping this whole secret from our dad. He doesnt know Bc is the way she is, barely going to classes and not talking to Butch. We dont bring the topic of school or the boys when we're with dad, it never ends well for me and Bubbles.

Once my dad brought up the fact that Brick was born May 31st, Butch June 1st and Boomer June 2nd. When we got back to the apartment dorm, Buttercup gave us hell, and after that she didnt talk to us for 3 weeks. Thats why we usually have lunch with dad alone or something along the margines.

*hours later*

Finally we arrive at Butch's birthday dinner, and the boys are all there waiting for us.

They quickly sit us at a table, and I immediately say happy birthday to Butch. He mumbles thank you, and eyes the door. I know he wishes Bc would be here with us. He opens his gift, its a watch from me and Bubbles. He smiles, and his eyes light up as he sees Bc's gift at the bottom of the bag. He shakes his head and looks back up. ''Soooooooo.. Hows.. you know..?'' he asks.

''Well, same as always. Annoying as ever Butch.'' I said, he chuckles. I am so glad hes lightened up a little. Its weird seeing Butch act quiet and mature. Its definitely a strange sight.

As the minutes turn into hours we find ourselves turning into the boys drive way, and when we open the door, walk past the kitchen and when we wall into the living room, sitting on the couch was Buttercup Roxanne Utonium, in the flesh. My jaw drops, and I look at Butch. His eyes turn from rage, to confusion, back to rage, love flickers, and they settle into sadness. She's sipping something from a cup, looks up at us and smiles. She is totally fucking drunk, oh God.

Butch

Right when I thought nothing else about the night could be any worse, we walk into OUR house, into the living room. And guess whos sitting there? Buttercup fucking Utonium on **my **favorite couch. Offuckingcourse she had to do this, she's so attention seeking it bothers my bones.

''What the hell is _she _doing here?'' I say through my gritted teeth.

Brick comes infront of me and says ''Butch relax, lets go to your room an-''

''NO, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?'' I scream running torwards her.

During the conversation she says nothing, until ''Butch, I'm here to wish you a happy birthday clearly numb nuts.'' She rolled her eyes, and I fucking lose it.

''WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN COME INTO MY HOUSE, ON _MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY? _YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.''

Blossom gasped, and Bubbles restrains Bc as she shouts ''REALLY? How many fucking times do I have to apologize ASSHOLE? I have told you time and time again holy shit!'' And thats when it all went blurry for me. All I remember is throwing shit, and screaming.

Hours later, Im in my room, all bloody and Brick is in my room. ''Dude what the fuck happened?''

He scowled at me and said ''You started a fight with Buttercup, and we all got in it you asshole. Shes in the hospital because of _you._ I hope you think about what you've done wrong. She wasnt even fucking drinking when you called her an alcoholic piece of shit whore. I am really disapointed in you Butch. Youve been unconscionse for 13 hours..''

I try to hide the shock on my face, ''where is she?'' I ask.

''I dont want you near her. Youve messed everything up. She was here to be your friend again Butch, thats what the card in her present said. Now leave me alone.'' Brick said as he left the room. I get up, and my head is killing me. I walk into the living room and its a mess. Blood, glass and debris everywhere. What have I done? I ask my self. .

Buttercup

*At the hospital, a day later Buttercup wakes up.*

''Woah, what the fuck is going on?'' I said as I see Blossom in my room. She's crying until she notices I'm awake. She rushes to my side kissing and hugging me.

''Hello Blossom I asked a question. WHY AM I HERE?'' She tells me the story and I shake my head in confusion. I cant believe he would do such a thing..

A nurse walks in telling me I have a visitor, and in walks in satan himself Butch Jojo. Blossoms eyes narrow, and I tell her its okay. She leaves the room, but not before she can bump into him.

He looks at me and shakes his head. '' I dont want to hear it Butch. You fucked up this time.'' He looks sad, mad and disapointed at the same time.

''I didnt mean to do this, but you infuriate me Buttercup. How could you do that to me? Why did you pick him over me? It still gets to me, and after not seeing you for so long I guess all the emotions came flooding back and I got overwhelmed with anger. I am not saying you deserve it, but it wasnt my fault. You chose to have me hate you, even though I dont, I really should. You are no good for me Buttercup. You drained every last piece of who I used to be two years ago, and I dont know if that can ever be fixed.''

He starts to walk away, but before he leaves I say

''I think a part of me knew this would happen, but I risked it anyway. Its not anything you did, it was the feeling that came along with seeing you after so long. Loosing you was the worst thing that has happened to me, and I dont think I can ever have a feeling like this again, and Im not sure I mind. When we first met, I knew I would never meet someone like you, not even come close to anyone like you Butch and I didnt care. But you know what? I lost my balance, I think thats the worst part of it all. Losing you was the what killed me. And now, I need you back in my life.''

He turns around, and shakes his head. ''Youve got it all wrong. You didnt lose me Buttercup, I am right here and I always will be. You did something worse along the way. I want you to look back and realize something worse has happened. You didnt lose me, you lost _yourself._

I dont know who you are anymore? You know, I used to know this wonderful girl. She was fearless, strong, stubborn, _smart,_ she never gave up.. She made me proud to be her friend, until this guy came along, and she _let _him ruin her, and blamed me for them breaking up.

Think about it Buttercup, you brought this whole situation upon yourself and you're afraid to take responsibility for it. Maybe nothing will ever change again, but I want you to realize what you've done. Our siblings are _**miserable Buttercup.**_ Blossom and Brick are doing bad in school, **bad in school.** They are always at the top of their class, effortlesly, and now they struggle because of our drama. Bubbles and Boomer fight everyday. They scream at each other at the top of their lungs Buttercup. When have they ever done that? I lock myself up in my room everyday and do absolutely nothing. AND you?

You are a helpless alcoholic, pothead slut.''

and he left.

Thats when I realized _**everything**_ he said was absolutely, without a doubt right._ What the __**hell **__is wrong with me?_


End file.
